The Hoffman Process’s slogan is “When you’re serious about change.” That slogan came about from the collaboration of a few centres worldwide to produce an essence statement about the programme.
The Hoffman Process is a hero’s journey that requires commitment from the participants to engage in change. It is primarily based on experiential work well framed within a meaning-making process.
The initiatory experience that the Hoffman process provides is that we are not our toxic shame beliefs and behavioural compensations. To be able to transform these beliefs and patterns we need to be prepared to experience the wounding in order to move beyond. The old saying “The only way out of it is through it” applies to this work. This requires courage to face our own fears of unlovability. The outcome is an experience to be at peace with oneself as well as with others.
The Hoffman Process involves addressing the internalized family system and finding compassion and understanding for Self and Others by not condemning the (internalized) children our caregivers once were. This step leads to individuation within the system, marking a significant personal evolution. After completing the process, individuals re-enter the system with positive changes and compassion and communicate these changes vulnerably, allowing others to adapt and make their own choices. When one person changes within a system, the entire system will adjust, leading to increased consciousness within that system.
Taking responsibility for our reactivity towards others is crucial, requiring us to regulate our responses and communicate our needs effectively. Learning empathy is essential for conflict resolution and recognizing boundaries, contributing to a balanced and harmonious environment.
An example of shifting our perspectives is the story of a man exercising in the tranquility of his upstairs bedroom. In the past, he relished his workout sessions with the window ajar, allowing him to gaze outward at the world beyond. However, an unexpected realization dawns upon him – his neighbour across the road could effortlessly peer into his personal sanctuary.
This seemingly mundane occurrence sparks a profound introspection into the delicate balance between introspection and external perception. It illuminates a paradox that resonates deeply with the human experience – the delicate dance of looking outwards while remaining mindful of those who may be looking in.
So, before he had an experience of looking out and all of a sudden, he has the experience of the neighbours looking in. At its core, this phenomenon encapsulates a fundamental aspect of human nature – the constant interplay between self-awareness and external validation. And it’s all about me.
In essence, the act of shifting perspectives transcends the confines of individualism and fosters a collective understanding of the human experience. It reminds us that vulnerability is not a weakness but a profound strength, a catalyst for introspection and growth.
So, we need to have both elements there. If, however, we are constantly worrying what other people think then the others become an oppressor. If we’re too much thinking about what we do and what our needs are, then we become oppressive. So, we have to find the balance between these two poles.
Therefore, change is something that is always with us, present in human existence. Everything is changing all the time: the weather, the ocean, climate change and so on. The human experience is not immune to it, so we need to learn how to manage change. Covid recently showed us the need to be adaptable. It is a major survival skill for living beings. Through the transformative journey of the Hoffman Process, we gain profound insights into the nature of change and learn to navigate its complexities with grace and wisdom.
